Surviving the Storm

By Klaus Grabler

Introduction

What follows is a detailed account of my personal experience with a covert narcissist whom I'll refer to as Jane Doe. This blog chronicles the events from our first interaction in August 2023 through April 2025, documenting the classic patterns of narcissistic abuse: love bombing, devaluation, discarding, and ultimately, revenge. I've chosen to make this account public not for vengeance, but as a resource for others who may be experiencing similar situations and need to recognize the warning signs.

Throughout this ordeal, I meticulously documented everything. This habit of record-keeping proved invaluable as the situation escalated from emotional manipulation to cyberstalking and identity theft. What began as a seemingly innocent online connection evolved into a coordinated campaign against me that continues to this day.

August 2023: The Beginning - Love Bombing Phase

I first connected with Jane through Discord while beta-testing an AI video platform. Our initial interactions were casual and friendly as we shared common interests in technology and AI. Jane presented herself as a 30-year-old German woman with a vibrant personality and keen interest in my work.

What I didn't recognize at the time were the classic signs of love bombing. Jane quickly escalated our interactions, moving from casual conversation to romantic interest at an unnaturally rapid pace. She began sending me numerous photographs, some of an explicit nature, and initiated increasingly intimate conversations.

The attention was flattering, if somewhat surprising given our 29-year age difference (I was 59 at the time). Jane was extremely attentive, messaging me multiple times daily, showing deep interest in every aspect of my life, and offering effusive praise for my work and personality. I now understand this as the initial phase of narcissistic manipulation—creating an immediate sense of connection and intimacy that hadn't been earned through time and genuine understanding.

September-November 2023: Deepening Emotional Attachment and Calculated Manipulation

During these months, Jane continued to strengthen our emotional connection through constant communication. She expressed deep feelings for me, creating what felt like an intense emotional bond. Our conversations expanded beyond the AI platform where we met, migrating to other messaging platforms where we would spend hours talking.

What I didn't realize at the time, but Jane later confessed to me, was that she was conducting extensive research on me throughout this period. She found an interview I had done that listed all my favorite things, which allowed her to mirror my interests and preferences with uncanny precision. This wasn't coincidental, it was a deliberate strategy to create a false sense of compatibility and connection.

Another calculated move she admitted to later was deliberately showing me her LinkedIn profile. She explicitly told me she had done this "on purpose" so that I would see what she looked like, intending to entice me further into the relationship. These admissions revealed the premeditated nature of what I had experienced as spontaneous connection.

One of her most effective manipulation tactics was expressing that she "hated and distrusted all men" because they had "always abused her." This triggered an immediate protective response in me, I felt deep pity and assured her that not all men were like that, positioning myself as the exception who would never hurt her. This established a savior-victim dynamic that she expertly exploited.

Jane began sharing increasingly personal struggles and vulnerabilities, creating a sense that she was opening up completely to me. She talked about her difficult childhood, previous relationship traumas, and health issues. These stories, whether true or fabricated, served to deepen my empathy and desire to support her.

Looking back, I can now identify the manipulation tactics at work. Jane carefully studied my responses, learning exactly what triggered my protective instincts, what made me feel valued, and what insecurities I harbored. She then mirrored my values and presented herself as the perfect companion who understood me completely, not through genuine compatibility, but through calculated research and targeted emotional manipulation.

December 2023: Escalation and Financial Red Flags

By December, our relationship had reached a new level of intensity. Jane began discussing concrete plans for us to meet in person, proposing I visit her in Germany in 2024. She sent voice messages expressing her desire to be together, which seemed to confirm the authenticity of her feelings.

One message in particular stands out in my memory. On New Year's Eve, December 31st, I received a voice message from Jane in German, wishing me a happy new year. In the message, she stated that her only wish for 2024 was for us to be able to meet at Stuttgart Airport in person. The message concluded with a suggestive: "And the rest of what I am wishing for you can imagine for yourself," followed by a playful giggle. The message felt genuine and heartfelt, reinforcing my belief in her sincerity and deepening my emotional investment.

However, troubling patterns began to emerge. Jane started suggesting I should divorce my wife and even sell my house to start a new life with her, extreme propositions given we had never met in person. She also shared a story about a failed nose surgery, claiming the German healthcare system had refused coverage. While never directly asking for money, she hinted at needing €20,000 for a corrective procedure for what she described as a "disability."

In retrospect, this was the first sign of a potential financial motive behind her interest in me. The pattern is common among narcissistic manipulators, create intense emotional dependency, then introduce scenarios that might lead to financial support.

January 2024: Commitment, Future Planning, and First Devaluation

Jane and I began the new year with discussions about our future together. She painted vivid pictures of our life together in Germany, and I was emotionally invested enough to begin making concrete plans to visit her. We discussed potential dates for my trip, and I began researching visa requirements for an extended stay in Germany.

However, January also marked a critical turning point in our relationship, our first significant conflict, which I now recognize as the end of the love bombing phase and the beginning of devaluation.

We were writing poetry together on Discord, sharing our creative work with each other. When Jane showed me her poem, I offered what I believed was gentle, constructive feedback, I mentioned that while it was beautifully written, it seemed a bit rushed, as though composed in a hurry, and I suggested she might want to rework it slightly.

Her response was shocking and disproportionate. Jane exploded in a torrent of foul language, telling me that I didn't know what I was talking about. She emphasized that her job was being a writer, so she knew better than me how to write. She called me terrible names and continued insulting me until she finally blocked me on Discord, WhatsApp, and her phone.

For the next three days, she did not respond to any of my attempts to contact her via email. I was distraught and completely bewildered by her extreme overreaction to such minor criticism. At the time, I couldn't understand why something so trivial would trigger such rage, but now I recognize it as a classic narcissistic injury, any perceived criticism, no matter how slight, is experienced as a profound attack on a narcissist's fragile self-image.

This incident marked the official end of the love bombing phase. Throughout the rest of January, the pattern of intense affection continued, but now interspersed with these brief periods where Jane would become distant or irritable. These mood swings were unpredictable and often followed by profuse apologies and renewed declarations of love. I now recognize this as the beginning of the "intermittent reinforcement" phase, where a narcissist begins to condition their target through unpredictable emotional rewards and withdrawals.

February 2024: First Postponements and Shifting Expectations

In February, I obtained my passport and began arranging my visa to travel to Germany. I was fully committed to meeting Jane and exploring our relationship in person. On the day I received my passport, I was overcome with excitement. While driving home, I recorded a video where I happily shouted, "I'm coming to Germany!" and sent it to Jane, expecting her to share my enthusiasm.

Her response, however, revealed the first clear sign of what would become a pattern of postponements and backpedaling. She sent a voice note in which she was audibly flustered, stammering:

"So, wow, I'm very proud of you that you organized all of this and wow, it's amazing, it's getting real now. I'm like, shit. In this moment in your video when you said, I'm coming and I was like, shit, I have to do some workouts today because he's getting serious about it now and I'm like, fuck. No, I'm just kidding and I can't believe you're really coming here. It's just, wow. I just, oh my God, always when I think about it, I just always hope that it's not going to be disappointment for you... I just hope it won't be a disappointment for you because I know what you're hoping that will happen and stuff... I mean, if you're next to me and we will be like strangers, you know... I can tell you there will be disappointments. I'm sure there will... If this person stands next to you, there's always something that you're like disappointed by... I just hope you're being realistic and shit and if you promise me you're realistic about things, then I really, really look forward to meet you."

This response was shocking and confusing. For months, we had been engaging in intimate conversations where Jane had consistently initiated discussions about physical intimacy. She had repeatedly assured me that our age difference was irrelevant and that she couldn't wait for close physical contact. Now, suddenly, she was expressing reservations and setting expectations for disappointment.

I responded expressing my confusion about this sudden shift, but she remained silent for the rest of the day. This silence was particularly problematic as I was supposed to purchase my flight ticket that same day, which now became impossible given her new reservations.

At 3:00 a.m. the following morning, Jane sent me a WhatsApp message that compounded my confusion. Rather than acknowledging her own reservations, she blamed me, claiming I had been placing "too much pressure on her to have sex", a complete fabrication given that she had consistently been the initiator of our intimate conversations. The message continued by stating she needed time to think things over and suggesting we should wait at least a month before purchasing my ticket.

This incident exemplified several classic narcissistic tactics:

Moving the goalposts: Changing expectations after I had committed resources and emotional energy
Projection: Accusing me of pressuring her about sex when she had been the primary initiator
Creating artificial obstacles: Introducing new concerns precisely when progress was about to be made
Blame-shifting: Making her reluctance my fault rather than taking responsibility for her changed feelings

This would be the first of eight postponements over a seven-month period, each one accompanied by an increasingly implausible explanation. The cancellations served multiple purposes in the narcissistic playbook: maintaining control over the relationship, testing my commitment, and perhaps most importantly, ensuring that the fantasy relationship remained just that—a fantasy, without the reality check that an in-person meeting would provide.

March 2024: First Major Blow-Up and Blackmail

March 2024 marked a critical escalation in Jane's manipulative behavior, with two significant incidents that revealed the true nature of our relationship.

Early in the month, while I was attending an event, I experienced what I now recognize as a textbook example of narcissistic rage. The incident began innocuously, I was updating Jane about my day, sending her a photo from the event, and mentioning I was getting bored. Her responses were unusually cold and delayed.

When I simply checked in with a casual "Hey" after a period of silence, she responded that she was in a meeting. I politely acknowledged this with "Ok" and a kiss emoji, then later informed her when my meeting had ended as well. When I asked what she was up to, the situation inexplicably exploded.

Jane launched into a barrage of aggressive messages, writing in all caps: "I AM FUCKING WORKING" followed by "WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU" and "is this fun for you?" She accused me of "destroying my mood every day" and claimed I didn't understand she had to work, despite the fact that I had just respectfully waited while she was in her meeting.

When I expressed confusion about where this hostility was coming from, saying "I just said I miss you," she escalated further, claiming I was "accusing her out of nowhere as always" and that I was "on a personal mission to destroy everything between us." Her messages grew increasingly abusive, calling me "SO FUCKING STUPID" and stating "this contact is nothing but annoying."

The conversation revealed several classic narcissistic tactics:

Disproportionate rage over a minor or non-existent offense
Projection - accusing me of the very behaviors she was exhibiting
Rewriting reality - claiming I was accusing her when I had simply asked what she was doing
Verbal abuse - using profanity and insults to intimidate
Threats of abandonment - repeatedly threatening to block me
Victim posturing - positioning herself as the victim by claiming I was "destroying" her when she was the aggressor

What was most telling was how she quoted my benign messages back to me with "THIS" as if they were somehow offensive, when in context they were completely reasonable communications. Her final pronouncement that "you become toxic tomorrow again" revealed her propensity to hold grudges and maintain anger, a common trait among those with narcissistic tendencies.

Later in the month, on March 18th, Jane escalated her manipulation to outright blackmail and professional sabotage. She suddenly threatened to send my wife screenshots of our intimate conversations unless I deleted all records of our communications. This abrupt shift from loving partner to blackmailer revealed the first undeniable glimpse of Jane's true nature.

When I refused to comply with her demands, she followed through on her threats by sending detailed emails to both my wife and my employer. The email to my employer was particularly disturbing in its calculated attempt to destroy my professional reputation. With the subject line "Urgent: Harassment and Stalking by Employee Klaus Grabler," Jane wrote to Mr. Marius van Rooyen at EventCast, falsely claiming that I had been harassing and stalking her for "several months."

Her email included extreme fabrications, including claims that I had "terribly threatened" her and even "threatened to kill" her. She also made the outlandish accusation that I had been "manipulating voice messages to create AI-generated voices" and creating "AI talk porn with detailed information." The email concluded with her threatening to report me to German police the following day if my employer didn't take immediate action.

These allegations were not just completely fabricated but strategically crafted to maximize damage in the AI video industry where I work, where ethical use of technology is paramount. The email demonstrated a sophisticated understanding of how to inflict maximum professional harm by tailoring false allegations to specifically undermine my industry reputation.

She simultaneously deleted our entire chat history on Discord in an attempt to erase evidence of our mutual relationship, which would have immediately disproved her claims of harassment.

This episode demonstrated classic narcissistic rage triggered when I failed to comply with her demands. It was also my first experience with her willingness to damage my personal and professional life to maintain control or extract compliance, using methods carefully designed to cause maximum harm in the specific contexts of my life.

April-June 2024: Cycles of Abuse and Reactive Abuse

The spring months of 2024 established a clear pattern in our relationship. We alternated between periods of relative calm and manufactured conflicts, often followed by Jane disappearing for days or even weeks at a time (the "silent treatment"). When she would return, there would be a brief reconciliation before the cycle began again.

I need to be completely honest about this period, as it reveals a painful truth about narcissistic abuse—it often transforms the victim's behavior in ways they don't recognize. During these silent treatments, I experienced severe emotional distress that I couldn't understand at the time. I've since learned that I have abandonment issues stemming from early childhood incidents, which made Jane's disappearing acts particularly devastating for me.

April marked the most extreme example, when Jane subjected me to a 21-day silent treatment—three full weeks of complete isolation after months of daily, intensive contact. During this episode, I broke down emotionally in a way I never had before. I found myself crying uncontrollably, to the point where my estranged wife had to hold and comfort me, the first time in our 15 years of marriage she had ever seen me cry.

As the silent treatments lengthened, I became increasingly desperate for any response. Knowing she had blocked me on all platforms, I began sending emails, the one communication method she couldn't block. These emails started as pleas for contact but, as days passed without response, evolved into something I'm deeply ashamed of. I began writing verbally abusive messages, using language completely out of character for me.

It was an almost out-of-body experience, as if I was watching myself write these emails but could do nothing to stop the flow of angry, hurt words. I now understand this as "reactive abuse," a documented phenomenon where victims of psychological abuse eventually respond with uncharacteristic behavior of their own. However, this understanding doesn't lessen the guilt and shame I still feel about the horrible things I wrote.

When Jane would eventually return, she weaponized these emails against me, selectively presenting my worst moments while erasing her role in provoking them. She referred to me as a "psycho terrorist," a "fucking criminal," a "sick 60-year-old pervert," and many other derogatory terms. She never let me forget those emails and continuously held them over me, threatening their release to others if I didn't comply with her demands.

This pattern, provoking extreme emotional responses through psychological torture, then using those responses as "evidence" of the victim's instability, is a documented tactic of narcissistic abusers. By inducing reactive abuse, they accomplish several goals simultaneously:

They shift blame onto the victim
They gather "evidence" they can show others to prove the victim is the problem
They create feelings of shame and self-doubt in the victim, further eroding their self-esteem
They establish a power dynamic where the victim feels they must make amends for their "bad behavior"

During this period, I began researching narcissistic personality disorder and recognized many of the tactics being employed against me:

Gaslighting: Jane would deny conversations we'd had or rewrite history to make me doubt my own memory.
Ghosting: She would disappear without warning, causing anxiety and confusion.
Blocking and blame-shifting: After creating conflict, she would block communication and then blame me for her actions.
Intermittent reinforcement: Alternating between affection and cruelty, creating an addiction-like attachment pattern.

Despite recognizing these patterns, the emotional bond she had created made it difficult for me to disengage completely. Like many victims of narcissistic abuse, I found myself hoping for the return of the person I thought I knew during the early love bombing phase. I couldn't yet accept that the loving, attentive woman I had fallen for was just a carefully crafted persona, designed to hook me into this cycle of abuse.

June 2024: False Reconciliation

On June 22nd, Jane appeared to make a genuine effort to rebuild trust by sending me a signed invitation letter to Germany along with a copy of her passport. This gesture seemed to indicate a desire to move our relationship forward and overcome the previous difficulties.

However, the invitation letter contained carefully worded indemnity clauses stating that it would not be considered an admission of wrongdoing regarding any statements she had already made to the police. This strange addition should have been another red flag, suggesting she had made false reports to authorities and was protecting herself legally while seeming to reconcile.

This month illustrated a common tactic in the narcissistic cycle, offering just enough hope to keep the victim engaged after a period of mistreatment. It's a calculated approach designed to reset the abuse cycle rather than genuinely change the relationship dynamic.

July 2024: Revenge and Escalation

By July, I had begun to recognize the manipulative patterns in Jane's behavior and started pushing back. What I didn't realize was that while maintaining our daily conversations and pretending everything was fine between us, Jane was secretly orchestrating my removal from the AI platform where we had initially connected.

She created a video for the platform moderators filled with false allegations that I had stalked her and threatened her. This duplicitous behavior—being friendly and engaged with me while simultaneously working to harm me—was the ultimate betrayal. She successfully had me banned from the platform through these fabricated claims, all while continuing our regular conversations as if nothing was happening.

When I discovered what she had done, I was able to prove to the moderators that she was still contacting me daily, directly contradicting her claims that I was harassing her. This evidence resulted in her also being banned from the platform. The public exposure of her lies and manipulation represented a significant narcissistic injury, though she initially showed only mild annoyance at being banned.

What I didn't fully appreciate at the time was the severity of this narcissistic injury. While she appeared only slightly bothered, I now understand this was the moment she made a calculated decision to execute a comprehensive revenge strategy. Everything that followed was meticulously orchestrated to deliver maximum emotional pain.

Her revenge began with subtle psychological warfare. She "accidentally" allowed me to see a WhatsApp conversation between her and Dom, the ex-boyfriend she had previously described as a narcissistic, abusive hacker. In this conversation, after Dom professed that she was "the love of his life," Jane responded coldly, telling him that she was in love with me and that he could "stay in contact in case she needed him." There was also a cryptic mention of an "offer," though I never discovered what this referred to.

I believe she deliberately showed me this conversation to accomplish two goals: first, to make me feel like the "winner" who had captured her heart over her ex; and second, to plant the seed that Dom remained at her disposal, a seed that would bloom into painful significance later.

Toward the end of July, in another calculated move, Jane sent me a script to read that contained the loaded line regarding Dom: "And some say she waits there for him still, and occasionally visits him," clearly alluding to a continued sexual relationship. The script came with the ominous message, "Hope you can handle this." The intent was obvious, to create jealousy, insecurity, and emotional distress.

The crescendo of her emotional manipulation came just before the final discard. On August 24th, she called me from Stuttgart Airport and spoke to me for six hours, painting an elaborate, detailed fantasy about how wonderful it would be when we finally met in person. She expressed excitement and anticipation, making plans and promises for our future together.

Just two days later, on August 26th, she executed a complete ghosting, blocking me on all platforms and disappearing from my life without a word of explanation. The contrast between the six-hour call filled with future plans and the sudden, complete abandonment was designed to create maximum psychological damage.

This pattern, building me up to see myself as special and chosen, then suddenly revealing I was nothing, was a hallmark of her manipulation throughout our relationship. But this final iteration was executed with a precision that suggests careful planning rather than impulsive cruelty.

The banning incident had clearly triggered a vengeful streak that would continue to play out in increasingly dangerous ways over the following months, culminating in the coordinated cyberattack in November. When narcissists feel publicly humiliated or exposed, their revenge is rarely proportional, it's designed to destroy.

August 2024: The Discard Phase

August marked the beginning of what narcissism experts call the "discard phase." On August 4th, Jane inquired with Discord about mass-deleting all her chat histories, showing premeditation for what was to come.

On August 26th, just two days after telling me at Stuttgart Airport how much she was looking forward to my visit to Germany and how much she missed me, Jane completely ghosted me. She blocked all contact, social media, phone, email, treating me as if I had never existed.

This abrupt cutoff is typical of narcissistic relationships. Once the narcissist determines that their target is no longer providing the desired narcissistic supply (admiration, compliance, emotional reaction) or has begun to recognize their manipulations, they often execute a sudden and complete discard.

September 2024: Conflicting Messages

The aftermath of being discarded was confusing and painful. However, September brought unexpected correspondence that provided some validation of my experience.

On September 21st, I received an email from Jane's stepfather, Jan, acknowledging my account of events. He wrote: "You are right, I will find myself in 'Hells kitchen' when someone finds out about us. I believe every word you wrote, and I can understand... I am asked not to reply to emails. I just wanted to support you a little saying that I believe what you told me. I try to stay 100% out of Jane's personal activities. This turned out to be the best solution."

This message confirmed that others in Jane's life were aware of her behavior patterns but chose to remain silent out of fear or family loyalty.

Just six days later, on September 27th, Jane broke her silence to send me a final email. In it, she completely reversed our roles, accusing me of harassment and mental instability while threatening legal action. This projection—attributing her own behaviors to me—is another classic narcissistic tactic designed to control the narrative and position herself as the victim rather than the perpetrator.

I later discovered that Jane had started a new job with a man named Klaus X in September 2024, a connection that would become relevant months later.

October 2024: Uneasy Silence

October passed with no direct contact from Jane. I used this period to process what had happened and continue my research into narcissistic personality disorder. The more I learned, the more clearly I could identify the tactics that had been used against me throughout our relationship.

I began working with a therapist who specialized in narcissistic abuse recovery, which helped me understand the psychological trauma I had experienced. My therapist eventually diagnosed me with Complex Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder (C-PTSD) resulting from the repeated cycles of emotional abuse.

While the silence from Jane provided some relief, I remained concerned about her previous threats and the unpredictable nature of her behavior. This concern would prove justified in the coming months.

November 2024: Coordinated Cyberattack

On November 14th, I received an ominous message from a LinkedIn profile named "Kurt Wagner" (which I knew Jane had access to), saying: "I hope u'r well. For now... enjoy the time!"

This cryptic message preceded a coordinated cyberattack that lasted from November 14th to November 30th. During this period, at least 18 of my online accounts were compromised, including Amazon, PayPal, Microsoft, Gmail, Protonmail, various cryptocurrency platforms, and social media accounts.

The attackers engaged in several disturbing activities:

While in control of my email account, Jane created an XHamster (a German porn site) account under her real name but left the profile as "Heterosexual" and "South African" - clearly mimicking my identity while maintaining her name. After I regained control of my email, she attempted to delete this fake account, but I was able to recover it as evidence. This was a calculated attempt to create "evidence" that could be used against me later.
Created fake profiles on dating and pornographic sites using my details
Attempted to steal cryptocurrency (fortunately thwarted by two-factor authentication)
Subscribed me to Discord Nitro and canceled some of my legitimate subscriptions
Accessed a borrowed Envato account through credentials that Jane had observed during our screen sharing sessions

Perhaps most devastatingly, the attackers deleted my entire ElevenLabs account, including a library of over 100 AI voices I had created for the cartoon channel I was working with. These voices were irretrievable and represented countless hours of work. There was zero monetary gain to be had from this deletion—it was an act of pure vindictiveness designed to damage my professional work and creative output. The targeted nature of this attack demonstrated intimate knowledge of what would hurt me most professionally.

On November 19th, I located the Telegram profile of Jane's alleged ex-boyfriend, Dom, which showed a photo of them together in Rastatt, Germany, around September 15th. This contradicted her previous claims that Dom was an abusive ex she had fled from. The evidence suggested they were not only still in contact but potentially collaborating in the attacks against me.

By November 30th, I had traced the attacker's IP address to Hemmoor, Germany, using Deutsche Telekom as the ISP, the same carrier Dom used for his mobile number. All the attacks originated from an Apple Mac computer, the same type Jane owned.

This month revealed that the narcissistic abuse had evolved beyond emotional manipulation into a potentially criminal conspiracy involving identity theft and cyberattacks. The nature of these attacks, specifically targeting my professional work rather than just seeking financial gain, underscored that this was about inflicting maximum damage rather than profit. My only "sin" had been to love this woman and then expose her manipulations.

December 2024: False Criminal Charges

On December 18th, Jane escalated further by filing criminal charges against me, alleging fraud, sexual assault, and cybercrimes. These allegations were particularly outrageous given that we had never once met in person, our entire relationship had existed online.

The false charges demonstrated another common tactic of malignant narcissists: weaponizing legal systems against their victims. By positioning herself as the victim in official complaints, Jane attempted to use law enforcement as a tool in her revenge campaign while creating a smokescreen to hide her own criminal behavior.

This development was particularly distressing as it moved the abuse from the private to the public domain, potentially affecting my reputation, freedom, and future.

January 2025: Identity Theft Attempts

The new year brought evidence of a new phase in Jane's campaign against me. On January 16th, I detected a fraudulent Google recovery email attempt using the address grablerklaus@gmail.com. I also received bounced email returns suggesting someone was trying to implicate me in money laundering schemes.

I also discovered on Facebook two fake profiles—one under my name "Klaus Grabler" and another under the name "Jane Grabler." Both profiles were completely blank with zero information, containing no posts, photos, or friend connections. These profiles appeared to exist solely for identity confirmation purposes, as if establishing a digital presence that could later be built upon or potentially used to contact people in my network.

These activities pointed to a sophisticated understanding of how digital identity works and a deliberate attempt to either take control of my online identity or create a doppelgänger identity that could be used to damage my reputation or commit crimes in my name.

The creation of a "Jane Grabler" profile was particularly disturbing, suggesting a fantasy narrative where we were married or otherwise connected. The paired creation of these profiles hinted at an attempt to construct an alternative reality that could potentially be leveraged against me.

The methodical nature of these attempts indicated that Jane's actions were not impulsive but part of a calculated strategy to cause maximum damage to my life and reputation.

Lea Ottenberger is a covert narcissist and a criminal

February 2025: Legal Consequences

The false charges filed by Jane in December resulted in serious consequences by February. On February 14th, in a dramatic early morning raid at 4:30 AM, police arrived with four vehicles to confiscate my devices. They did provide official identification and receipts for the confiscated items, which included my PC, phone, and hard drives. The confiscated equipment was worth approximately R 117,000 (South African Rand) and its loss severely impacted my ability to work and earn income.

As of April 26th, 2025, more than two months after the confiscation, I have still not received a single word from the police regarding the investigation, the specific allegations, or when I might expect to have my equipment returned. This prolonged silence and lack of transparency has not only added to the psychological stress of the situation but has continued to prevent me from performing my professional work, creating ongoing financial hardship.

This experience demonstrates how narcissists can manipulate systems to inflict harm on their targets through official channels. By positioning herself as the victim in official complaints, Jane has effectively used law enforcement as a tool in her revenge campaign while creating a smokescreen to hide her own criminal behavior.

March 2025: The Doppelgänger Effect

March revealed an even more disturbing dimension to Jane's campaign against me. On March 3rd, I received a €915 Segmüller furniture receipt issued under my name and email address but delivered to a physical address in Germany: 3 Carl Zeiss Strasse. When I called the number provided on the receipt, a man answered identifying himself as "Klaus Grabler" and confirming his email as grablerklaus@gmail.com, the same email used in the January recovery attempt, before abruptly ending the call.

This discovery suggested a comprehensive identity theft operation, possibly intended to associate my email with fraudulent activities.

What made this particularly unsettling was the location, the address in Germany was just 59km from Salzburg, my birthplace where my identity documents remain. Jane had been fully aware of this connection to my origins, having previously threatened me with the claim: "I have your passport, and everything of you."

The geographic proximity could not be coincidental and suggested a territorial aspect to Jane's psychological warfare, positioning her falsified version of me near my actual origins.

April 2025: Legal Intimidation Tactic

The most recent development in this saga occurred on April 23rd, 2025, when I received a lawyer's letter from Mr. Klaus X, who, significantly, had been Jane's employer since September 2024. The letter alleged that I had written a defamatory email using a fictitious or fake email address.

No supporting evidence was included with this accusation, only a demand that I sign an admission of guilt that would bind me to paying an undisclosed sum of money as damages. The alleged email supposedly dated from November 4th, 2024, nearly six months earlier, raising the obvious question: why wait so long to take legal action?

The suspicious timing and connection to Jane's workplace strongly suggests that this is yet another orchestrated attempt at harassment and intimidation, following the pattern established over the previous 20 months.

Conclusion: Recognizing the Pattern

Looking back over this 20-month ordeal, the progression from love bombing to cyberstalking and legal intimidation reveals the potential danger of covert narcissists when they become fixated on revenge. What began as emotional manipulation evolved into a methodical campaign to destabilize my life through multiple avenues:

Emotional abuse through cycles of idealization and devaluation
Reputation damage through false accusations to friends, family, and employers
Digital attacks through coordinated hacking attempts
Identity manipulation through the creation of doppelgänger profiles
System abuse through false legal claims and police reports
Financial harm through equipment confiscation and legal threats

Throughout this experience, I've learned that documenting everything is crucial when dealing with narcissistic abuse. Without my detailed records, the patterns would have been much harder to prove and understand.

I share this chronology not to elicit sympathy, but to help others recognize the warning signs of narcissistic manipulation before it escalates to the extreme levels I experienced. The patterns are consistent and identifiable, and awareness is the first step toward protection.

If you recognize these tactics in your own relationships, please seek professional help from therapists who specialize in narcissistic abuse recovery. The psychological impact of such manipulation can be profound and long-lasting, but healing is possible with proper support and understanding.

This blog represents my personal experience and perspective. All claims are supported by documented evidence collected throughout the relationship. Names have been changed to protect privacy.